Okay, I'm writing this labor story down with every detail I can remember, so I'm sorry if it's a little long! Here we go.
The balloon went in at 4:30 p.m. on November 5th. Aside from some Braxton Hicks contractions that acted up, I didn’t feel anything different. We checked into the hospital at around 5 a.m. and at 6 a.m. they checked me….I just had my fingers crossed that the balloon had worked…and it had! I was dilated to a 5, and had not hardly felt a thing. It was such a wonderful, amazing thing, I think everyone woman should have one every time.
After the nurse took out the balloon, my contractions started on their own, every 5 minutes, semi-painful. I started asking about the epidural, knowing it usually takes awhile to get the anesthesiologist in there. Unfortunately he was just going into a c-section, so I had to tough it out for an hour. It wasn’t that bad, with some counting help from Samuel and some breathing. By the time he got there though, I was READY for that epi!
I have to tell you about my nurse. Her name was Peggy Sue, and she is a traveling nurse. She had just flown in that very morning from Lousiana. She had the thickest accent ever, it took me several hours to be able to understand her. She was seriously such a character. We found out that she was a convert (10 years ago) which made it even cooler, because now my doctor and nurse were LDS.
So, my doctor checked in with me at 7:30, they started pitocin which really got the contractions going, I was able to get the epidural at 8:40, which made me sleepy, extremely nauseated (I threw up a few times), but it took away the pain for two hours. I dilated to an 8, but the baby was still at a -3 station, which is pretty high. (Peggy told me not to worry, that she had "magic" she could do if the baby wouldn't drop...I think she said this entailed tying a towel around my stomach and tightening it with every contraction to force her to drop. I THINK SHE WAS SERIOUS!) Luckily that didn't turn out to be necessary. Peggy broke my water at around 10:30 a.m., and immediately things went crazy.
First, the epidural wore off. Very quickly. I was panicking because it had happened three times with Kalia, and every doctor I've seen since then was SURE it wouldn't happen again! Plus, they'd hooked me up with an epidural button! Well, it was more than just a contraction, it was pain so intense that started in my lower back and then spread like fire to right under my pubic bone. I swear I thought my pelvis was going to shatter. Peggy was next door helping deliver another baby, so I called another nurse to show me where the epidural booster button was, and she saw that it wasn't quite hooked up right. I was REALLY starting to hurt, and I mean a BEE STING TIMES A THOUSAND (what was I thinking saying bee stings hurt as bad as labor...my memory failed me.) The contractions were only about a minute apart, and Tara even took a picture of them peaking off the charts. So the nurse quickly hooked up and pushed the button…I felt it go in my back and down my legs, but no pain relief. Everyone kept saying, "Give it a few more minutes" but things were just getting worse. Maybe it was too late to catch up to the pain, but I wanted to die. I'm sure this is when I started screaming. Everyone was encouraging me, so I figured WHY NOT. (My dear husband took a little video clip of one of these fine moments, and no, I will not be posting it.
I hadn’t mentally prepared myself for this pain—in my mind I had prepared for a painful "first half" of labor, meaning the pain before the epidural. I had gotten through it the first time with breathing and help from Samuel, and I knew I could do it again. So it not what I was expecting at all, to have a painless "first half" of labor and then a terribly painful second half. I like to think that I'm not a total wuss, but that I just hadn't prepared myself for the pain, or thought of what to do when it happened. Most of all, I just had no idea that I was getting close, so all I could think of was that this pain was terrible, and the end was no where in sight!
I remember my dad...He was in the room at the moment (he was OUT of the room for most of it, but he'd come in for a short time right before the epidural started wearing off.) Rather than looking worried and concerned, I could tell he was thrilled. He was smiling the whole time. He was just so happy that I was having these pains so low, because he knew the baby was dropping, and he knew it was probably the last obstacle that had to be overcome to have the VBAC. (Kalia's problem was that she just never dropped, even after I was fully dilated.) Well, so much for sympathy. Peggy came rushing in to check me, and my dad rushed out. I was screaming PEGGY MAKE IT STOP!! And she said with all that southern attitude, GIRL, DID YOU WANT TO HAVE A VBAC? (yes) AND DID I TELL YOU IT WASN'T GOING TO HURT? (no) OKAY THEN! She then proceeded to check me, and calmly says, "Oh, don't worry everyone, she's just going through transition."
Well, that was music to my ears. I have watched TLC's "A Baby Story" enough to know that other women who were trying to have all-natural/drug-free births often freak out and beg for epidurals during transition. I also knew that the birth comes very shortly after transition, so the end WAS in sight after all! That was such a great moment. And as a side note, for women who CAN do this naturally and drug-free, I will be honest and say...I HAVE NO IDEA HOW YOU DO IT. That pain at the end, with the contractions on top of each other, was unreal. (Sorry, don’t mean to scare any of you preggo’s who are getting near to childbirth.) I have an ENTIRELY new respect for anyone who’s birthed a baby period—but if you did it without an epidural, you deserve a million medals.
Well, Peggy let me start pushing, and WHAT A RELIEF it was to push. It either distracted me from the pain, or actually moved Annaliese into a position that wasn't so painful in my pelvis. I heard Peggy tell someone to CALL THE DOCTOR NOW, THIS BABY IS READY!” And once again, I wanted to cry in relief, but I was too busy screaming and grunting. My doctor was very close by and was there very quickly.
So one weird thing is that I had a vaginal septum that was blocking the exit for the baby. They are pretty rare, but oddly enough my older sister had one as well. The doctor had actually seen it the day before when he put in the balloon, but said it wouldn’t have affected my first delivery (since Kalia never dropped low enough to run into it) and might not affect the second one. But it was definitely keeping her head in, so Samuel watched him pull it out and cut it in half. (A good way to imagine a septum is to put your tongue up above your teeth and feel the little piece of skin that connects the inside of your upper lip to your gums. That's a septum. The one I had was a lot thicker though.
Well...the pushing. That is just so much dang work. I tried to use only the necessary "pushing muscles" but I found myself just clenching up my entire body to try to squeeze her out. That was really draining. I couldn’t concentrate on ANYTHING except pushing. My mom tried distracting me from the pain by talking, I think I yelled at her to be quiet, Samuel wanted to hold my hand, I told him to get away and start fanning me (I was starting to be drenched in sweat) and Tara was just doing great reminding me to keep my chin to my chest. They were telling me when they saw the head. I started feeling soooooo tired from the pushing, but since I had total feeling down there, I could feel the progress of her coming down the birth canal, so I knew the pushing was working. More pushing, and a hard time catching my breath afterwards. I know for a fact I said (several times), "I'm too tired. I can't do it." And Peggy was always right there saying, "Girl, you WILL do it!" Maybe it was about this time, my doctor, who I think was inspired, suddenly looked up at me and asked if I wanted to reach down and touch the head. It turned out to be exactly what I needed to really focus on the finish line and push a few more times with all my might.
And then she was out! It was probably the greatest relief I’ve ever felt in my life. I think I said about ten times. SHE'S OUT! SHE'S OUT! I'M DONE! SHE'S OUT!! The nurses were ready to wisk her away—they were worried for some reason, and asked the doctor to hurry and cut the cord. But the doctor calmly (and quickly) laid her on my chest and let Samuel cut the cord (although he did tell him to do it quickly.) I know we both appreciated that.
Annaliese didn’t cry for about two minutes, (My mom was watching and freaking out because she thought she looked stillborn) but for some reason I knew she was fine. And I was still distracted because even though she was out, my bootie was still killing me--it felt like a bomb went off down there.
Then I heard the cry. Then the emotions hit me. That was my baby—there she was, just hours before in a little ball in my belly, now she was officially here. The tears were pouring down my face. My sister was on the phone with my dad and my other sister. I was just flooded with emotion. My mom was crying (and I remember her saying, “You did it! You got your wish!”) and they brought her to me and I fell in love. I love that picture of Samuel showing me the baby, all bundled up, with light coming in and hitting her from the window, and sweat drenching my hair. It just sums it up so well.
My doctor kept working on me, trimming away the septum and stitching me up. I had a second degree tear, and it was an "unusual" one. It tore sideways instead of up and down, and in two different places and angles. I think it was a bit of a challenge to put back together. Afterward he gave me a high five (another successful VBAC for him too. He's the VBAC doctor champ!) and a hug (for Samuel too) and then it was over. So that's how it all went. It was by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Samuel has been treating me differently ever since he watched it—it's like he gained a whole new respect for me, and he was so grateful and proud, and he even cried a little as he told me he was so proud of me. I loved that moment too. It felt good to be appreciated, I'm sure you all know what I mean.
I will also be honest and say that while I was pushing and laboring without the epidural, I swore this would be my only vaginal delivery, and that I never wanted to do it this way again. Back to C-sections for me. But that was in the midst of the pain, and now that I am bouncing back and feeling so good, well, there’s just no comparison, and I’m going to take it back. A huge amount of pain for a very short time (maybe two hours?) or a semi-huge amount of pain for two to three weeks afterwards? Kind of a no-brainer.)
Finally, two recent pieces of news:
1. My stitches came out. Not all of them, but because of how it stretches the perineum when you sit down, and the weird angle of the tear...I split open. It's been pretty painful, and so I'm still using the tucks, the numbing spray, and pain pills. They have to do a mini-surgery (in the doctors office) to fix it all up, and they couldn't get me in until Friday. So that's been a tiny bit of a pain, but luckily my mom is here. She has a cancer/doctor's appointment tomorrow that she has to go home for, but she's taking Kalia with her so that I don't have to chase her around.
2. The full name is now officially "Annaliese Sadie Bigler"-- we changed the spelling, and figured out a middle name. We almost named her Sadie as a first name, but Annaliese seemed to fit better. But maybe she'll go by Sadie later, if she wants to.
Well, hope you enjoyed my labor story. I have to say, six days after it happened, the memories of the pain have already begun to fade. It wasn't that bad. I'd do it again. And who knows, maybe next time that epidural will work the whole time, and I'll have the best labor and delivery of all time. It's a good goal. Now, back to the busy life.
This was over a week ago when Annaliese still had some jaundice, but I just couldn't believe that her hair got so curly when it's wet. Kalia's never did that, so we'll see if that means anything in the future.
The funny part happened this morning. I was trying to upload pictures here and I turn around and guess who discovered my stash....
The part I haven't figured out yet is how she got them off the kitchen counter. I'm totally baffled. I found crumbs in her bedroom and in the living room in several places, including all over the bouncy chair. (Maybe she shared with Annaliese?) Seriously, you turn around for ONE MINUTE...
Annaliese is staying awake more now, for about an hour at a time. She really likes to be held, meaning she stops crying as soon as I pick her up. I am getting good use out of a NoJo Babysling that someone gave me. It held her in even when I was bathing Kalia and washing her hair. 
